#TeaserTues – Out of the Blue – One more time

I’m still working on this one.

It is a thorn in my side that I can’t quite reach.  I have delved into reading and listening audiobooks like my life depends on it.  Hoping that I’ll absorb them and be able to get this thorn worked into shape.  I was supposed to start Camp Nano today but my mental struggles with this monster keep me from moving on.

I wonder if I should just abandon it for a few months.  Maybe we both need some air.  I feel like I’m making progress overtime I begin edits on this 45k beast that has grown by 20k since it was ‘finished’.

Maybe I should tackle it as my Camp Nano until new inspiration strikes.  My November NaNo came to me in a dream.  How do your ideas come to you?

Here are the links to previous revisions of the monster.  And the below them you’ll find the latest version of the beginning.  Find my personal links on the side if you want to chat about your writing endeavors.

Out of the Blue February 23

Out of the Blue January 19

Out of the Blue December 8

Out of the Blue December 1

Out of the Blue September 29

Out of the Blue

Prologue

16 years ago.

Callie’s heart beats against her chest, she knows by the end of the day, she might be a widow left to care for four little girls alone in an unfamiliar world. She clings to her husband as the sun sets across the ocean, her instincts telling her his pride has already decided his part in the events about to unfold.

#TeaserTues – Out of the Blue Again

So, here we are again.

I’m posting yet another edit of Out of the Blue.  If you’ve been following along I hope you see growth in the excerpt.  I added at bit more to it today for your reading pleasure.  Including the Prologues I haven’t decided if I’m going to keep.  This version is the result of my editor, Genevieve Scholl and a great lady, Renee Stanley, who is a big help to me.

Out of the Blue January 19

Out of the Blue December 8

Out of the Blue December 1

Out of the Blue September 29

Out of the Blue

Prologue

16 years ago.

Callie clings to her husband as the sun sets across the ocean, knowing his pride has already decided the outcome of the events about to unfold. Callie’s heart beats against her chest, she knows by the end of the day, she might be a widow left to care for four little girls alone in an unfamiliar world.

#TeaserTues – Out of the Blue Take-10? (I lost count)

I sought professional help

If you have been following along with my progression on Out of the Blue you know I have edited this thing almost to death.  I recently acquired the services of an editor and I hope with her help to put this book in the done column.  I know lots of authors don’t use their first book; maybe they use it as a learning experience and never publish, maybe they revisit it later or maybe they trash it half way through.  I would like to publish mine; not because I think it’s a great gift to the world but simple to say I published it.

My editor requested that I not attempt to edit my #NaNoWriMo book Her Unexpected Life and send it to her as is.  She wants to see how I write before I try to fix it.  I tried several strategies to edit Out of the Blue but couldn’t get a good rhythm so that’s why I hired an editor.  She has already pointed out several things to change that I thought were okay.  Oh and then there’s grammar my nemesis.  We have a hate/hate relationship with each other.  Commas vex me in my sleep, they say add me here, you know you want to.  I think they instigate characters taking over pov out of turn, too.  Or that could be caused by writing without an outline.  Who’s to say, really?  Oh, look I think I’m rambling.  If you’re still with me, here is a new and improved version of the selection of Out of the Blue I have been sharing with you fine folks.  Plus the previous versions links as well.

Out of the Blue December 8

Out of the Blue December 1

Out of the Blue September 29

Out of the Blue

Chapter One-Friday, November 14, 2014

Callisto slides through the currents as graceful as a ballerina, twirling and gliding around obstacles in her path as she makes her way to an unfamiliar beach. Knots of eagerness have afflicted her through her whole journey, but her anticipation for a better life away from the pod continues to propel her forward.

#TeaserTues-Out of the Blue Excerpt

I was doing it wrong

Well here I am talking about editing again.  I am very good at telling, still working on showing.

I recently posted about editing chapter 1 & 2 of Out of the Blue and then I posted an excerpt from those revisions.  I received my score cards from a contest and actually got a chance to study them after I drafted my last Teaser Tuesday.  Research followed so here I am yet again after major changes sharing the same excerpt.  What do you think?  Am I getting better at showing?

Out of the Blue

Chapter One-Friday, November 14, 2014

Callisto slips through the currents as graceful as a ballerina, twirling and gliding around obstacles in her path as she makes her way to an unfamiliar beach. Knots of eagerness have afflicted her through her whole journey thus far. Her anticipation for a better life somewhere away from the pod propels her forward.

#TeaserTues – Out of the Blue

Many revisions later

It has been awhile since I shared anything from Out of the Blue.  I want to share the same passage but several revisions later.  I hope you see progress in my writing.

Out of the Blue

Chapter One-Friday, November 14, 2014

Callisto silently slips through the currents, weaving and bobbing around obstacles in her path making her way to an unfamiliar beach. Upon waking that morning, she knew today was the day she was starting her new life, the day she would give up being a mermaid to live as a human. Her mother’s urging sealed her decision and was likely fueled by her father being gone on important pod business. The choice to stay or leave was hers to make ultimately but it would be monumentally easier to leave if her father was not present. She had to make a decision in the short time remaining before her twenty-second birthday. Her stomach has been in knots through her whole journey thus far but not from fear, eagerness was the culprit. Her anticipation level for a better life somewhere away from the pod and its unnerving ways propelled her forward.

#TeaserTues – Out of the Blue

So I was going to wait to do this but I feel like I have been neglecting my new blog this week so I am going to give you a teaser from my work in progress.

Out of the Blue

Chapter One-Friday

Callisto silently slips through the currents, weaving and bobbing around obstacles in her path. Upon waking, this morning she knew today was the day and her mother’s urging sealed it. Her father was gone on important business so he wouldn’t even know she had left. Today is the day she is starting her new life, the day she will give up being a mermaid to live as a human.